Someone in my hometown of Stamford made the news on Christmas for a very unfortunate reason. In a section of town that I am probably the most unfamiliar with, (as it is the furthest from the woodsy North Stamford I am from) the part on the water called Shippan, a house fire claimed the lives of five people.
Two people survived, the mother and her male acquaintance.
The mother, Madonna Badger, is apparently an advertising executive in New York.
In the fire she lost pretty much her entire life, her parents and three kids died and her house was destroyed.
She didn't have a Merry Christmas, and may never have one because Christmas may have too painful of a meaning to her now.
What I wonder is what a friend or family member could say to her. There is nothing that could possibly make her feel better.
Can you think of something to make someone who lost their house, children and parents feel better?
Can you think of anything to do to make them feel better?
When you stop and think about it there is nothing.
She's probably going to need counseling and monitoring, for a long time.
I just really wouldn't know what to say. Saying, brighter days are ahead, or it's unfortunate don't do justice. You can't even say, I feel you pain, or I can't imagine what you are going through. Most people will NEVER be able to imagine what that person is going through.
And then put yourself in her position. How do you get over something like that happening? If that was you, and you lost that much, you could be on suicide watch. I would hope you would be smart enough to know you need counseling. You would hopefully go to church, although I can see how some might take the opposite approach if they have been faithful, because an event like that could only challenge one's faith in religion.
It will take a while to get over it too. You have to deal with all of the anniversary's of birthdays, all of the things that trigger memories of those you loved the most, the ones who surrounded them for their life.
On the flip side, if you are a special person, who can recover from things like this and be stronger and better for it, you will come off as insensitive. Maybe there are some people who are tough enough to get over this. However, if you move on so easily, people will see you as someone who doesn't care about the little things in life.
I have to say the story about someone losing their entire family and house on Christmas to a fire is the worst news story I can remember hearing in my hometown ever, and one of the worst stories I have heard in a long time.
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