Patriots Sign Ditka as Defensive Back to Shutdown Victor Cruz

The New England Patriots will sign Mike Ditka of Da Bears of the city that begins with a C and ends with an O and has hicag in the middle.

Ditka will play defensive back for the Patriots and will shut down Victor Cruz.

With Ditka the Patriots win the Super Bowl.

I have the Patriots winning.

DA BEARS...because that SNL skit is just really funny.

Please lord, please forgive me for using your name in vain, and don't let anyone who reads this actually believe that the Patriots sign Ditka.